Repeat After Me: I Will Not Compare Myself To Others

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It's so hard to be a mom and to NOT compare yourself to other moms. Very quickly, one may find herself with a shopping list that doesn't fit the budget for brands and items that aren't a true "need" but would help her keep up with the rest of the flock. It's a slippery slope and it's something I've struggled with on and off since I've become a mom myself.

Over the years, I've improved for certain. I've gotten out of the "brand" game and decided that whatever I think is best + whatever fits the budget = my reality. {Magic!} But there's still this nagging comparison that has lingered. I thought, perhaps if I vent my imperfections with you it would help.
  1. I don't cook organic meals for my family. It's a wonderful concept and I would do it if I could. The truth is, I can't afford to buy organic everything so I don't. It's hard enough dealing with finding lactose free items for my son, let alone feeding a whole family that way.
  2. I gave all three of my children formula at some point. They're healthy and normal kiddos and I did it with their best intentions in mind since I could never get the hang of breastfeeding long enough to make it through a year.
  3. I have to make myself leave my computer some days. It's an easy escape for me to hop on and dive into the facebook/pinterest/instagram of it all. This is something I've learned to harness but I could get a better handle on it.
  4. I am jealous of the moms who have the wardrobe I wish I could afford...for both myself and my kiddos. This is something I am too hard on myself about but it's real, nonetheless.
  5. I skip chores sometimes. I look at my list and decide I don't want to do it all, so I don't. That means I have a lazy side.
  6. As soon as I moved from the condo into the house, I gave up on cloth diapering. I had too much to adjust to and I didn't deem it to be as important as learning first how to take care of this great {as in large} space.

You see, my comparison monster has to do with how I parent and run my house more than anything else. If I hear some mom talking about some organic spread or this new thing she's trying for meal prep, I have a hard time sharing with her my enthusiasm for Taco Night and Pancakes for Dinner. Something in me believes she's better than me. It's not true.

Each mom is different and each has her own way of loving and raising her family. I can't guilt myself for not being someone else or not having the finances to afford the organic options of my favorite foods or the latest fashions. There's no shame in the fact that I am just ME and this is MY family. After all, the measuring stick isn't between one mom and another, it's between a mom and the family she's raising.

{The hubster tells me all the time that I'm doing a good job. ;)  }

Better yet...what about when I take who I am and look at myself the way God sees me? By doing that, all the silly comparison notes quickly fall by the wayside. HE loves me AS IS. Of course, He wants me to continue to become a better version of myself as I become more like Him. But He certainly doesn't want me to try and be like anyone else around me. I can admire someone and learn from them but I can't try to be who they are.

Do you struggle with comparison? What are some of the ways you learn to let that go?

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8 comments:

  1. Yes! I struggle with this, and my children are older, for the most part. I compare myself to other homeschool moms, you know, the "real" homeschool moms who actually stay home and teach their kids every day, while I try to homeschool and work full time. And I compare myself to the mom who has a clean house and bakes cookies. I try to keep telling myself that I have unique giftings and that God didn't call me to be like another mom. I keep telling myself that the life of the other mom may not be all pretty and neat as I may see it.

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    1. You see how easy it is to downgrade what you do compared to someone else? I stay at home and homeschool my kiddos...but check this out...I have NO idea the kind of talent it takes to homeschool and work full time. You, my friend, have my respect. You're a REAL working mom and homeschooling mom. :)
      GOD BLESS YOU!
      I hope your own family sees what a treasure you are for ALL you do.

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  2. I smiled when I read this post. I am in a Bible Study Group who is studying the book of Esther. The study guide we are using is written by Beth Moore. Anyway this was the exact topic of Monday's lesson.It is very hard to not compare ourselves to others. You hit the nail on the head, though, God loves us for who we are,not who we are trying to emulate. The 1st year I was with this group I learned that if we find fault with ourselves, we are criticizing God and telling Him He goofed. That is a sin and I felt so bad. I have had to apologize quite a few times. Didn't mean to write a novel. I really love your Blog and feel I learn things from here. I hope you have a Blessed week!

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    1. Thanks for sharing and I'm glad this spoke to you where you're at. Your Beth Moore study sounds wonderful! I'm going to have to read one of her books next, I think.
      And you're so right. We can't criticize His creation. He made us each with a unique part in His big plan. :)

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  3. Wondefful post and I completely agree. I do this a lot as well and its a constant battle and struggle for me. I like how sometimes you have to step away.. especially from the computer and all the social media. I've gotten a lot better over the years but it is a battle all the time. I also struggle with being judged over the things I do have.. we are all our own and being a mom is hard. :) thanks for sharing your thoughts and struggles.

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    1. There is no one else who can be you and you can't be anyone other than who you are. What a freeing thought. Thanks for sharing with me about your own struggles. It's good to know I'm not alone. :)

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  4. This is a well-written post and a lot of the points ring the same for me as well. There are fractions of time where I compare myself to other mothers but those times are few and far between. I have a blended family of six kids and I think they're doing just fine. I may not win Mother of the Year to anyone else, but I'm doing alright by them.

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    1. 6 kids...you're amazing, Terra. And I'm sure you're doing a wonderful job. I appreciate and admire your confidence. I'm learning to get there, myself. :)

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Thanks for leaving a comment! I am so happy you stopped by today. :)

"But blessed are those who trust in the Lord
and have made the Lord their hope and confidence."
Jeremiah 17:7*